Hi from Medellin,

I hate to disappoint or maybe not, but no, I didn’t celebrate Cinco de Mayo. Yesterday was laundry day at Laundry Café in Laureles. I separated my lights and darks into two small washers as fast as possible, asked for a Tide pod for color protection (trust me, you need one of these here) and then jetted.

My plan was to walk to Sazón D’ Panas, a great Venezuelan restaurant a block away, but instead I stopped at a closer spot a few doors down. Thought it would be quicker and I could use their bathroom. I popped in, ordered the menu of the day, got the chicharron, instead of the breaded pork which was the day’s main protein listed, huge mistake.

Finally, I head to the bathroom, which BTW was very clean. Lock the door, take care of business, and then I grab the knob to get out. Turn it left then right, nothing. These are the moments when I think “Oh man, for extra shits and giggles, the universe has a funky sense of humor today”.

The door was stuck. Yeap, it would not open. I turn that knob every way possible and then I start knocking, but with the loud music playing, they couldn’t hear it. Holy shit, now I’m talking to myself out loud, again. Grumbling a curse or two. I force the door so hard a small piece of plaster, I think, falls off and nothing. Now I’m afraid to even touch it. Finally, a fudging light bulb goes off. I take out my phone and start searching for the restaurant’s number to tell them that I was stuck in the bathroom. It felt like I was in an episode of Seinfeld or Mr. Bean. Latin people, think Cantinflas.

As I’m about to dial the number, I hear the waiter. He asks “Are you stuck?” (in Spanish). I reply, “Aha”. Then he tells me to hold on while he tells the young lady behind the bar. A few seconds later she shows up and starts moving the knob, and as the door opened, I noticed she had used what looked like a credit card or hotel card key to unjam the door. Hysterical! At this point I realize this had occurred before. Why hadn’t they fixed it?

The waiter apologizes as I walk out of the bathroom. He told me he was wondering why I hadn’t come out and that the food was getting cold on the table. Ugh!!

Finally, I sat down and noticed the sad chicharron, glanced at the guy sitting next to me and wished I had gotten the breaded pork. Salad didn’t look appetizing, papa chips were stale, one sweet plantain, white rice and beans were okay. I left most of it, finished my guarapo (local juice), and paid. Total price $22,000 Colombian Pesos ($5.95), so I thought okay, no big loss here other than time and getting stuck inside a public bathroom.

Headed back to the laundromat, placed my clothes in one big dryer and decided to walk to Josefina’s, the bakery around the corner to get sandwich bread. Walked in and they told me that it had not been made in a few days. I thanked them and walked out feeling deflated at this point. I knew I would be hungry later, so I thought to myself “fudge it, just stop by Sazón D’ Panas and get food to go”. Menu of the day was $21,000 pesos ($5.70), worth it. Their food is really good.

And if you are wondering how much two washers, one Tide pod for color protection and one large dryer cost, it was $63,500 Colombian Pesos ($17.23 USD), more than the two lunches combined.

Got any crazy stories? Share so I feel a tiny bit better about getting stuck in a bathroom.

Laundry, Locked in Bathroom, and Two Lunches