Lara, I really like that you don’t frame this as a fearless reinvention story. ❤️
You’re very clear that fear, overthinking, regret, uncertainty, and self-doubt are still coming along for the ride. You’re just no longer letting them decide the itinerary.
The line that stayed with me was the question you’re asking your future self:
“By the time I reach 90, I want to look back and say WOW, that was a life well lived. No regrets.”
That’s such a useful way to strip away a lot of the noise. Not what looks safest right now? Or what will everyone understand? But will this matter when I’m looking back across the whole thing?
And I laughed at the part where you basically gave yourself permission to write about the journey anyway. 😂 Sometimes “fuck it, I’m doing it” is a surprisingly healthy creative strategy.
What makes this compelling to me is that you’re not just changing countries. You’re testing what happens when “maybe one day” finally becomes now.
Hi Dan, thank you for reading. For someone like me who has been such a recluse and fiercely private, sharing aspects of my life on a public platform is a lot. Baby steps. I post more notes than essays. Work in progress, nothing figured out yet. :)
I'm leaving La Paz, Bolivia tomorrow. Heading to Santa Cruz for a couple of days and then spending October in Buenos Aires. Keep an eye out for my very non-professional photos. 😂
That sounds like a big step, Lara, especially when privacy has been your default for so long. ❤️
And honestly, baby steps seem exactly right. You don’t have to turn yourself inside out just because you’ve decided to share a little more publicly.
I’ll definitely keep an eye out for the very non-professional photos. 😂 La Paz to Santa Cruz, then a whole month in Buenos Aires sounds like a great way to collect a few stories without forcing any of them.
Safe travels tomorrow. I’m curious to see what you see along the way.
You sounds like a super introspective kind of person. Cool!
Great you decided to do what you’re doing!
When I was 30 (many moons ago), I picked up and moved to Ecuador. It was after an ayahuasca-oriented trip (I took a pass then, but tried it at a later date). Long story, but a lot happened on that trip and then I moved.
No regrets now at all. It was really hard at times (Internet had just begun and communication with friends and family was limited), but it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done…and in some ways, it the lack of hyper connectivity we have now that made it more intense and probably impactful.
Well...on the original trip, I was scared shitless. It was sooo dark and my trip mate, the stranger I shared my room with (who became a friend), took it. She had an experience and was telling me about it.
Months later, when I tried it, the part of the jungle I was in wasn't so far away (the first one, we flew in on a small plane and there were radios for communication). Also, the shaman gave me a small dose. I saw some leaf patterns and other weird stuff, but didn't have a complete journey. (And maybe that's a good thing.)
This is brave as hell. Selling almost everything and buying a one-way ticket at 50 is not just travel. That is choosing your life again. The “ask me when I’m 90” line hit me hard. I think about that with writing and legacy too. What will I regret leaving unsaid? Your piece feels like someone refusing to wait for life to feel safe before beginning. Props to you and I really hope everything works out.
Thank you, Destin. There is a combination of fear and excitement in this path I have chosen. I'm doing an astrocartography experiment at the moment in South America. Each city I land in brings something wonderful. This morning I arrived in La Paz, Bolivia and already small acts of kindness are happening from the moment I stepped off the plane. Living in awe at the moment. No regrets. All that stuff I sold, I don't miss it at all. Most importantly, I don't need it. My only son graduated college and already working. It was time to jump off the cliff and trust the universe had my back. And one day he will have a full documented story of this journey. Don't leave anything unsaid.
Lara, I really like that you don’t frame this as a fearless reinvention story. ❤️
You’re very clear that fear, overthinking, regret, uncertainty, and self-doubt are still coming along for the ride. You’re just no longer letting them decide the itinerary.
The line that stayed with me was the question you’re asking your future self:
“By the time I reach 90, I want to look back and say WOW, that was a life well lived. No regrets.”
That’s such a useful way to strip away a lot of the noise. Not what looks safest right now? Or what will everyone understand? But will this matter when I’m looking back across the whole thing?
And I laughed at the part where you basically gave yourself permission to write about the journey anyway. 😂 Sometimes “fuck it, I’m doing it” is a surprisingly healthy creative strategy.
What makes this compelling to me is that you’re not just changing countries. You’re testing what happens when “maybe one day” finally becomes now.
I’m very curious to see where that takes you. 🌎✨
Hi Dan, thank you for reading. For someone like me who has been such a recluse and fiercely private, sharing aspects of my life on a public platform is a lot. Baby steps. I post more notes than essays. Work in progress, nothing figured out yet. :)
I'm leaving La Paz, Bolivia tomorrow. Heading to Santa Cruz for a couple of days and then spending October in Buenos Aires. Keep an eye out for my very non-professional photos. 😂
That sounds like a big step, Lara, especially when privacy has been your default for so long. ❤️
And honestly, baby steps seem exactly right. You don’t have to turn yourself inside out just because you’ve decided to share a little more publicly.
I’ll definitely keep an eye out for the very non-professional photos. 😂 La Paz to Santa Cruz, then a whole month in Buenos Aires sounds like a great way to collect a few stories without forcing any of them.
Safe travels tomorrow. I’m curious to see what you see along the way.
Love your spirit so much. Today is the day. And we are choosing our day to day experience consciously , the one that we will cherish when we are 90.
You sounds like a super introspective kind of person. Cool!
Great you decided to do what you’re doing!
When I was 30 (many moons ago), I picked up and moved to Ecuador. It was after an ayahuasca-oriented trip (I took a pass then, but tried it at a later date). Long story, but a lot happened on that trip and then I moved.
No regrets now at all. It was really hard at times (Internet had just begun and communication with friends and family was limited), but it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done…and in some ways, it the lack of hyper connectivity we have now that made it more intense and probably impactful.
You are braver than me, Lisa. The part of me that likes to maintain some level of control or the illusion of it won't try ayahuasca.
Well...on the original trip, I was scared shitless. It was sooo dark and my trip mate, the stranger I shared my room with (who became a friend), took it. She had an experience and was telling me about it.
Months later, when I tried it, the part of the jungle I was in wasn't so far away (the first one, we flew in on a small plane and there were radios for communication). Also, the shaman gave me a small dose. I saw some leaf patterns and other weird stuff, but didn't have a complete journey. (And maybe that's a good thing.)
Would I do it again now?
Hell no! :)
I admire you! And I’m looking forward to hearing more from your new life
Thank you! It's been quite an experience so far doing things I never thought I would do :)
This is brave as hell. Selling almost everything and buying a one-way ticket at 50 is not just travel. That is choosing your life again. The “ask me when I’m 90” line hit me hard. I think about that with writing and legacy too. What will I regret leaving unsaid? Your piece feels like someone refusing to wait for life to feel safe before beginning. Props to you and I really hope everything works out.
Thank you, Destin. There is a combination of fear and excitement in this path I have chosen. I'm doing an astrocartography experiment at the moment in South America. Each city I land in brings something wonderful. This morning I arrived in La Paz, Bolivia and already small acts of kindness are happening from the moment I stepped off the plane. Living in awe at the moment. No regrets. All that stuff I sold, I don't miss it at all. Most importantly, I don't need it. My only son graduated college and already working. It was time to jump off the cliff and trust the universe had my back. And one day he will have a full documented story of this journey. Don't leave anything unsaid.